I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
