we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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