That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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