I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
