One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
