the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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