go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
