Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
