that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
one might say we're banned from that church
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
