you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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