Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize