Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My friends, they love my intelligence
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
