At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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