and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
