dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
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I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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