Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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