1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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