That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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