You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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