Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
