Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
