As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
