the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
