i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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