Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
