First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
