ya dads aren't the best wingmen
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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