When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my shit smells like andre
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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