Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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