i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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