Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
