clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
