why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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