I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Send help, water and tortillas.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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