Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
