There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
