So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
