Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
