Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize