dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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