It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
