Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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