Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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