he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize