Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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