i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
