good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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