If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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