dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
