Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
