He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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