It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
