i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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