So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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