In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
