hell yes lets make some ravioli
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
