Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
