I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
